Tuesday 26 January 2021

Confusingly wrong

 How is an abuse, manipulation due to superiority, ego, pride & stubbornness of a fallen man over a period of nearly 9 years be made as an excuse of “mental health”? 

Is it really fair to deprived one of love, freedom, happiness and sanity? 

Is it even fair for someone that has been through so much just to go through another round of torture and be back at zero again?

How can one be so jaded and cheated by the wrong friends she mixed with when innocently it was all about serving & giving back to God? 

Most importantly how can I be so forgiving, so lovely, so faithful, so trusting over all the years? I must be a fool or a fool in dire need of love. 

Tuesday 19 January 2021

So blessed to be a mom

 I am just so thankful and blessed to be a mom for real! I’m so proud I did better than my own mom in our own ways; like I trained my bae to be disciplined and I breastfed her for the entire almost 3 years which I’m so proud of despite not having rest and sleepless nights! I’m also so proud that despite the environment I am in I became a pillar for my bae and a mom and dad also a nanny a teacher for her. 

I didn’t cook much when I was single but once I became a mom I cooked everyday when she knows how to eat and I decide to care for her well being despite how toxic the environment is. Her father on the other hand is very busy with work all time round and has his hands full! 

I guess the world for just the two of us a better world! Well that’s because I don’t have a mom I could rely on to help me out with my kid moreover I’m staying far from her. 

So when she was younger aft the breastfeeding in between I made purée for her out of avocado 🥑 pumpkin 🎃 porridge, fish, oats, papayas, blueberries, strawberries on top of her milk. 

As she is able to digest her food further I made Mac and cheese, pastas, spaghetti, eggs 🥚 , fruits, carrots every other day. Have a healthy balanced lifestyle of enough rest, enough discipline and such.

As she is older I decided to enhance and cook more varieties for her including dishes, her fav noodles, carrots 🥕 broccolis which is her fav! I trained her to eat vege and fruits at a young age (truthfully I don’t even eat it that much 🤫) her exercises are scooters, dancing, yoga 🧘‍♀️ and walking in the park!

Aside from physical and her healthy well being, I tried my best to be her emotional comfort too and taught her a lot about everything in life and build her confidence and help her to grow. Taught her to be happy and lively and tells her everyday Jesus Christ loves you very much and He is our bff we are happy and blessed together! Hugs and kisses all time round! Dress her up like princess supports all her interest and plays with her! 

That is how much I love my bae and how much I am willing to forgo all my career despite already going thru such challenges and when the harvest was ready for me to reap yet I forgo it again to raise her up! I pray she will be happy, healthy and strong knowing how much I love her, be there for her, build her and will always be here to support her against all odds as usual. Always teaching her kindness and love and to be genuine and happy 😃 

Pray she will know the truth in her heart and grow strong in it and be confidence in knowing the truth and the love I have for her and it will set her free! The Holy Spirit be our guide and our witness in everything we do and to remind her always that I tried and did my best in any way possible for her and my love for her is agape! ❤️✨

I’ll take no advice or nuisance because I raised her up independently and travelled solo with her quite a few times and am living all the way far from my own comfort zone totally alone with her so I’ll not tolerate anyone’s busybody imaginary reality of me and gives invalid advices as it is not the truth because I know the reality I am in and do not need it to be distorted! One thing I am in need of is aplenty if favor, love, strength and grace from God! 

In Jesus name, amen!

I am me

I am just so amazing. I’ve come too far to let anyone say anything about me and it doesn’t matter what anyone says as long as I know who I am and what I went thru that made me who I am right now and I’m happy being and loving myself despite any variables that might change because I am made to be loved and to love. In Jesus name amen 🙏🏻

(I do not like anyone to assume anything about me at all or force personality on me because I only share what I portray on a superficial level or just an instance or a moment not even a part of me and truthfully no one on earth knows me nor any 🧩 about me! None! The only person that knows me very well is only ONE ☝️- Jesus Christ! )

So I guess when it comes to love n heart n compassion n humanity yeah I’m a fool and I could go on being like that too

It’s just my values I don’t wanna regret anything later

It’s like if I know someone needs something n I didn’t do it I’ll regret very badly hence there isn’t boundaries because love knows no boundaries and that was my motto all along 

Hence despite all the hardships in life I kept being lovely because that is who I am! I am made out of love and love is that constant that keeps me going and flourishing!

Written @jelinelohjen-li